MEANING OF DATING

Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several senses, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.
The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country. The most common sense is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they're compatible by going out together in public as a couple, and who may or may not yet be having sexual relations, and this period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage

Dating etiquette

Although dating etiquette has become more relaxed during the twentieth and twenty first century, there are considerable differences between social and personal values. Each culture has its particular patterns. For example, when an activity costs money (such as a movie or a meal), the man was expected to pay, particularly on the first date, in countries like the United States. More recently the practice of "going Dutch" (splitting the expenses) has become more common and acceptable. Conversely, among some cultures, such as the Karen people in Burma and Thailand, women are expected to write love poetry and give gifts to win over the man. Frequency of dating varies by person and situation; among single persons actively seeking partners, 36% had been on no dates in the past three months, 13% had one date, 22% had two to four dates and 25% had five or more dates, according to a 2005 U.S. survey. While equality between the sexes has changed dating, men are generally expected to ask women out and pay for the first date.

Unusual circumstances such as a river splashdown can bring couples together, including a man and woman aboard this flight.

Dating can be stressful, particularly since one is being evaluated while conducting an evaluation oneself, and some Internet email chatters have delayed meeting potential mates because of the stress factor of a romantic encounter with a stranger. It is a tough evaluation, and almost all daters will run into rejection or be ignored, but dating advisers counsel not to take it personally. There is a general tendency to avoid confrontations when trying to end a dating relationship; in Britain, 30% of all relationships are ended face-to-face, suggesting 70% are ended by not returning emails or phone calls, or by letter. Traumatic events can sometimes cause people to start dating; for example, two passengers aboard US Airways Flight 1549, which crashed in the Hudson River but without loss of life, began dating afterwards.

Flirting is generally part of dating. One study in 2010 of 5,100 people suggested that people have one of five basic "flirting styles": physical, traditional, polite, sincere and playful, and researchers advised that it helps to understand what one's natural style is.

A nature walk can be an ideal setting for a second or third date, like this one outside Clevedon, New Zealand. First dates should be in public places, generally, according to some advisors, particularly if the couple doesn't know each other well.

Dating advisers distinguish between the first date and subsequent dates. The first one should be simple such as going for coffee or after-dinner drinks, since a quick getaway may be necessary. Second dates can be more expensive and adventurous such as a dance or craft class. On all dates, the "key is conversation" so be relaxed and be able to chat freely; for this reason, dating at a movie is advisable only if followed by a drink afterwards. One dater in China found the language barrier to be a huge obstacle to romance "you have to be able to talk to someone.

Advice for men

Advice for men varies by culture and includes such issues as dressing neatly, being polite and positive, giving gifts, avoiding self-deprecatory humor, paying attention to your partner, and so forth. Some dating advisors offer a complete plan about how to approach and attract women which includes guidelines about what to wear, how to act, make love, and how to be confident. One dating adviser suggested that smart men have a tougher time dating, since they're more focused on personal achievements and expect love based on their personal academic prowess; sometimes they fail to consider less intelligent women as possible mates, and often lack romantic skills. One advised "quit thinking girls should like you because you're smart" and commented "a woman will like you based on how you make her feel ... so make her feel stuff - preferably good stuff." There is disagreement about how much of a financial role men should play in dating. One view is that men should pay for the dates, particularly for the first date; a contrary view is that paying for dates is equivalent to trying to "buy your way into a woman's favor" and is counterproductive. There is stronger sentiment that men should take the initiative in dating, and not let a fear of rejection prevent them from asking women out on dates.

Advice for women

In 1995 the book The Rules appeared. Columnist Maureen Dowd described it as a "dating bible" encouraging women to play "prefeminist mind games" such as "don't stay on the phone for more than 10 minutes" and "when you're with a man you like, be quiet and mysterious, act ladylike, cross your legs and smile" and to appear "busy and important."  Women can return to "hunting their quarry" but women are advised to play elaborate games to make men think that the men are the hunters when they're not. British writer Kira Cochrane of The Guardian found the book The Rules to be confining since it urged women to "laugh at all their date's jokes", never ask a man to dance, and appear "challenging" since "men are born to respond to challenge." Cochrane's problems with rules were that they relied on "objectionable, outdated notions of masculinity and femininity" and urge people to suppress their gut instinct, and they "make a game and a chore out of something that should be natural and fun and overwhelming."  But writer Bibi van der Zee, initially skeptical of the advice, tried it and found it made the men she dated "keener" to keep going out with her; she found herself to be "calm, unflappable" and, based on the advice, she would leave early on a date, appear busy, not phone him back.  While she worried about appearing to be a "game-playing bitch", she was surprised that the strategy worked; she married and became known to her friends as The Rules Girl.
Christian Carter in Paris Woman Journal counsels women to avoid making mistakes with men, such as trying to convince him to love you, expecting a relationship to make you happy, misreading men, and sharing deep feelings too soon.^[

Matchmaking systems and services

Dating systems can be systematic and organized ways to improve matchmaking by using rules or technology. The meeting can be in-person or live as well as separated by time or space such as by telephone or email or chat-based. The purpose of the meeting is for the two persons to decide whether to go on a date in the future.

• Speed dating. These organized matchmaking events have multiple single persons meet one-on-one in brief timed sessions so that singles can assess further whether to have subsequent dates. An example is meeting perhaps twenty potential partners in a bar with brief interviews between each possible couple, perhaps lasting three minutes in length, and shuffling partners. In Shanghai, one event featured eight-minute one-on-one meetings in which participants were pre-screened by age and education and career, and which costs 50 yuan ($6 USD) per participant; participants are asked not to reveal contact information during the brief meeting with the other person, but rather place names in cards for organizers to arrange subsequent dates. Advantages of speed dating: efficiency; "avoids an embarrassing disaster date"; cost-effective; way to make friends. Disadvantages: it can turn into a beauty contest with only a few good-looking participants getting most offers, while less attractive peers received few or no offers; critics suggest that the format prevents factors such as personality and intelligence from emerging, particularly in large groups with extra-brief meeting times.

• Video dating systems of the 1980s and 1990s especially, where customers gave a performance on (typically VHS) video, which was viewable by other customers, usually in private, in the same facility. Some services would record and play back videos for men and women on alternate days to minimize the chance that customers would meet each other on the street.

• Phone dating systems of about the same vintage, where customers call a common voice mail or phone-chat server at a common local phone number, and are connected with other (reputed) singles, and typically charged by the minute as if it were a long-distance call (often a very expensive one). A key problem of such systems was that they were hard to differentiate from a phone porn service or "phone sex" where female operators are paid to arouse male customers and have no intention of ever dating them.

59 Interesting Facts About . . .

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Dressing

Dressing
I don't know how you think, and if i did I wouldn't be on here.

Now when you want to get a guys attention, at school, at the mall, wherever, sure the less clothes does the trick, but looks dont always do you a favour, no matter how pretty you are.
When your with your boyfriend in public, or with his friends or family, dress appropritaly, normally. Be yourself because thats who you want him to fall inlove with

Now you've got that cute short skirt and top just lying around that you never wear in fear of people thinkin ur just being a s|u† to get your man to like you.

Well when its just going to be you and your boyfriend, its alright to wear those cuter clothes. Wear them becasue you want to and not because he would want you to.

If he really does love you, then what you wear or what you look like doesn't matter to him, but trust me, people may not want to say it, but looks do matter to a certain extent.

Top 10 Fun Things for Couples to Do in a Romantic Getaway

Are you planning a romantic getaway vacation with your significant other? If you want a great romantic getaway, you need to know these 10 fun tips we have for you on making the most of your trip and having the best romantic getaway ever!

If you really want to make the most of your romantic getaway, there are many different things you can do. We are going to share with you some of our favorite 10 fun things to do on your romantic getaway.

1. Play games together. That's right; we're not talking child's play here. There are many fun, romantic couple games you can play with your lover and it can make a fun and exciting pastime while on your romantic getaway. There are also toys and items you can buy to make this more fun or easier for you. Look for items such as seductive dice, glow-in-the-dark body paints and more.

2. A couple's massage. Visit a spa or massage parlor and get a massage together or spend some fun time alone and massage each other. Gather some books or videos on couple massage to learn how you can make each other feel wonderful.

3. Go skinny dipping. That's right; we said skinny dipping. If you haven't done it since you were a teenager, you've been missing out. What can be more fun and tantalizing than swimming in the nude with the love of your life? Just make sure you do it in a place that is clean and that is allowed. Don't try to skinny dip in a public pool, etc.

4. Eat an exotic meal. Have a fancy dinner together. Try a dish or cuisine you have never had before. Eat at an exotic restaurant or cook something new together at home.

5. Get pampered at the spa. Take a trip to the spa together and get facials, mud baths or some other relaxing treatments. It can be very romantic to do together.

6. Go diving/snorkeling together. If you are going to be on our romantic vacation somewhere near the ocean, look into companies that offer the opportunity to go snorkeling or scuba diving. This is a fun, exciting, romantic activity you can enjoy together and that you will remember for a lifetime.

7. Create your own adventure day. Using activities you have both thought about wanting to try one day or being able to experience, plan an adventure day where you strive to achieve these activities. Compromise and try out one another's romantic adventure ideas.

8. Have a caricature drawn. This service is easily available in most tourist locations. In other locations, you may have to dig a little deeper to seek them out. Have someone draw a caricature of you and your special someone. You will then have a fun and cute work of art to always remind you of your trip together.

9. Find an old drive-in movie theater. Locate a place that still shows drive in movies. Show up to one and make out in the backseat!

10. Role play. Another fun idea for your romantic getaway is to role play like you are really someone else. You can really get into your roles and buy or make costumes, give each other different names and more. Be creative!

The Top 10 Interesting Facts About Dating

1. The divorce rate among couples where the woman makes more than the man is 50% higher than among couples in which the husband earns more.
2. There are 25,000 to 35,000 polygynous marriages in the U.S.,mostly in western states.
The more polygynous the mating system the greater the differences between the sexes in terms of mortality.
Polygynous mating selects for males who take risks. Risk-taking traits lead to successful mating at the expense of a long life, i.e., the biggest buck wins the mating-fight, but will have more trouble feeding himself in a lean winter.
3. The #1 cause of divorce worldwide is infidelity.
4. The #2 cause of divorce worldwide is infertility.
5. The #3 cause of divorce worldwide is unkindness.
This can take the form of emotional and/or physical abuse,and may be the result of infidelity and infertility, or it can be a personality characteristic that is stable over time, involving lack of consideration for others, cruelty,selfishness, and irresponsibility.
6. Worldwide, wives who are less than 20 years old are morethan twice as likely as women who are more than 20 to be killed by a husband in a jealous age, regardless of the age of the husband.
7. 33% of women who have extramarital affairs consider their marriages to be happy, while 56% of men do.
8. Worldwide, women prefer to marry men who are older than they are and vice versa.
In Finland, Sweden and Norway the man is 1-2 years older. In Nigeria, 6.5 years older. In Zambia, 7.5 years older. In the US, men in their 30s prefer a woman 5 years younger; in their 50s, a woman 10-20 years younger. In the US, on average in the first marriage, the man is 3 years older; in the second marriage 5 years older; in the third marriage, 8 years older.
9. For the lifetime, men on average would like to have 18 sex partners, and women, 4 or 5.
10. Remarriage after death or divorce? In the US, 76% of women aged 14-19 remarry; 56% of women aged 30-39; 32% of women aged 40-49; and 12% of women aged 50-75.
(c)Susan trains and certifies EQ coaches. Individualized instruction arranged to accommodate your schedule. NO residency. Training worldwide. Susan offers individual coaching, business programs, Internet courses and ebooks.She is the author of Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women and It's a Jungle Out There internet course with how-tos for dealing with difficult people.
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Teen Dating Violence Facts

PREVALENCE AND FREQUENCY
Teen dating violence runs across race, gender, and socioeconomic lines. Both males and
females are  victims, but boys and girls are abusive in different ways:
• Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch, or kick;
• Boys injure girls more severely and frequently;
• Some teen victims experience violence occasionally;
• Others are abused more often…sometimes daily.
“Teen Victim Project,” National Center for Victims of Crime, http://www.ncvc.org/tvp, (Last visited 10/5/04).
A comparison of Intimate Partner Violence rates between teens and adults reveals that teens
are at higher risk of intimate partner abuse.
Jay G. Silverman et Al, “Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual
Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality.” Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 286, 572, 576-577, (Nov. 5, 2001).
n Females ages 16-24 are more vulnerable to intimate partner violence than any other age group
– at a rate almost triple the national average.
U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-99 (Oct.
2001, rev. 11/28/01).
n Approximately 1 in 5 female high school students report being physically and/or sexually
abused by a dating partner.
Jay G. Silverman, PhD; Anita Raj, PhD; Lorelei A. Mucci, MPH; and Jeanne E. Hathaway, MD, MPH, “Dating Violence Against
Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality,” Journal
of the American Medical Association, Vol. 286, (No. 5, 2001).
n Among female victims of intimate partner violence, a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend
victimized 94% of those between the ages of 16-19.
U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics,7, (2001).
n Between 1993 and 1999, 22% of all homicides against females ages 16-19 were committed by
an intimate partner.
Bureau of Justice Statistics Press Release, “Violence Rates Among Intimate Partners Differ Greatly According to Age,” (10/29/01).
n In a study of gay, lesbian, and bisexual adolescents, youths involved in same-sex dating are just
as likely to experience dating violence as youths involved in opposite sex dating.
“Prevalence of Partner Violence in Same-Sex Romantic and Sexual Relationships in a National Sample of Adolescents,” Halpern CT,
Young ML, Waller MW, Martin SL, Kupper LL. Journal of Adolescent Health, Vol. 35, Issue 2, Pages 124-131, (August 2004).
n Nearly one-half of adult sex offenders report committing their first sexual offenses prior to the
age of 18.
Ron Snipe, et Al, “Recidivism in Young Adulthood, Adolescent Sexual Offenders Grown Up,” 25 Criminal Justice & Behavior, 109,
117, (1998).
Teen Dating Violence Facts

What Men Want In A Relationship: Know What Turns Your Man Off in Romance

Dating: It's a minefield. Men and women are attracted to each other, yet they often understand each other so poorly.

When women talk about their past experiences with men, they are often mystified that things didn't work out. But when men are polled, they often cite the same factors over and over again as being detrimental to the relationship.

Here are some of the turnoffs they mention most often.

1. Trying too hard to please him.

It sounds counter-intuitive, but doing everything you can to cater to your man's every whim is NOT the way to make him happy.

Advice columnists are constantly reminding the women who write to them not to be doormats. Men like women they can respect.

That doesn't mean dominating him or being stubborn --that's a no-no, too -- but it means not bending over backwards to treat him like a king. It means when he asks if you could pick up his dry cleaning, and the cleaner's is all the way on the other side of town and you have errands to run elsewhere, you say, "Oh, no, honey, I'm sorry! I'll be on the other side of town all day!"

Women with backbones are attractive. Men like being pampered sometimes, too, of course, and obviously there are times when going the extra mile to be especially doting can be beneficial. But in day-to-day life, don't become his slave or servant.

Be generous and affectionate; just don't slobber all over him in your attempt to make him happy. You have to be your own person. If you become HIS person, he'll get bored with you and stop respecting you as a human being.

2. Talking about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends.

Men are already well aware of the fact that they have competition. They know there are 2.5 billion other men in the world and that you could dump your current flame and pick somebody else at a moment's notice. They don't need to be reminded of that fact by hearing constantly about your past romances.

Some background information is fine, of course. Men do like to know your situation, particularly if you were ever married. But going on and on about it can do little good.

If you speak overly fondly about your ex, your current partner will wonder why you didn't just stay with him -- or, worse, think you're planning to get back with the ex and are just using him as a placeholder. If you speak negatively of your ex, it will make your new lover paranoid. "Do I do these things?" he'll ask himself. "Is she racking up a list of my offenses now so she can tell her next boyfriend about them?"

Men aren't generally big on reminiscing anyway. Men's minds are wired toward practicality and problem-solving, not taking strolls down memory lane. In other words, to put it bluntly, your past relationships are boring to him. Not only does it involve the past, it's not even HIS past.

3. Acting too businesslike or too slutty.

Here's where it gets complicated. Surveys of men show they don't like it when a woman dresses too businesslike or "manly." It makes them feel emasculated. They want women to be feminine and ladylike. But at the same time, if you dress TOO feminine and show too much skin, they think you're cheap and won't respect you.

When first meeting a man, choose outfits that are complimentary to your body -- you want to look good, of course -- without being too extreme in one direction or the other. Keep it simple, casual, and pretty. Don't dress like you're going to the office, and don't dress like you're going to a strip club.

4. Pressuring him to talk about his feelings or "define the relationship."

Women like to have their relationships clearly defined, analyzed, and labeled. Are we "dating"? Is he my "boyfriend"? Are we just "seeing each other"? Men, on the other hand, like to know where they stand, too -- they just don't like talking about it. At least not with you.

Men talk to their male friends about dating. They'll explain the facts to their friends and get input from them about what your status is. Why not go right to the source -- i.e., you -- to find out? Because men resist emotionally charged situations and are especially afraid of being wrong. If the man thinks you're his "girlfriend" when you only consider yourselves to be "dating," he'll be crushed to find out he's overstated his position.

Pressuring your partner to talk about emotional things, particularly your relationships, will make him clam up. Save those talks for when it's vital to the health of the relationship, not just when you're feeling insecure and want some reassurance. In those times, follow his example and talk to your friends about it. They may have more insight into his feelings than he does anyway!

5. Trying to change him.

It doesn't work. You can't change anyone. But that doesn't stop countless women from trying it all the time. The man's reasoning is this: She fell for me because she likes me. But if she likes me, why is she trying to change me into something else?! And he has a good point. Some men are stubborn creatures sometimes, and no one, male or female, likes being forced to make changes. Let him be who he is. If who he is isn't good enough for you, find a man who is.

It's not possible to do everything perfectly in a relationship. But there are things you can do to make things run more smoothly and to avoid shooting yourself in the foot. Good luck, and happy hunting!

Why I Think It Is Wise To Make A confession in relationships

Human is to error, we do it all the time. It is so natural. The problem comes in when we dwell so much in our mistakes. This does not leave behind the area of relationships. If anything it is the most affected. Is confession in relationships important in our lives? Should you reveal your past to your lover? Should you reveal about a past affair? Is it better left unsaid? These and more are some of the questions which flood the floor of dating debates. Why should it be so easy to confess our love for each other, how generous we are and fail to talk about our little or big secrets? It leaves everything to chance.

Revealing your past is important to your partner if you are hoping to go far. He/she would rather hear it from you rather than hear it from a third party. The revelation that you are hiding something from your lover paralyzes all the feelings and break any existing bond. The consequences are so severe that i would rather you tell him early enough. A great hindrance to confession in relationships is that many people put a front when they start dating. They walk in other people's shoes and hide their true identity. Before they even know it the relationship is established and it is then that it becomes so hard to confess their real self to their lovers in fear of being rejected.

For instance many women do not go around telling every interested lover that they have a kid. In their assumptions, such a revelation would spoil the fun of the moment. This is most common with campus girls. They fear to be stereo typed by these gentlemen because they are mothers. This is a big mistake. What will happen to your solid relationship when you are out of campus? Should you terminate your relationship to save your face? How will your lover feel once the truth is out in the open? You would have owned up to your baby from the word go. Such a confession in relationships should be done prior to any plans of your life together.

If you are a married man you will agree with me that it is very hard to move on with your marriage relationship after an affair. It actually requires a lot of grace from God. You have strayed enough and now you are back home with the revelation that your partner is the best lover you could ever get. It becomes harder especially if you were rude and harsh to her just because you were outsourcing some love. Will you move on like nothing happened? Such confession in relationships help married couples to collect the pieces and move on. It would be good if you apologize and explain the facts which pushed you away. This will prevent another similar instance. Explain why you are back to stay and forge a way forward. If you do not confess your sins, the guilt won't let you relate well with your partner. The declaration that your significant other has forgiven you makes it easy to move on and restrict you to a morally straightened relationship.